Unwanted celibacy is a deep suffering. Stop Dating Sites To get out of it, serious dating sites are one of the easiest ways. But when the search is unsuccessful, the investment in time and money can be considerable. It can also be emotionally taxing, the making of contact can be felt as stressful, YourChristianDate the first meetings which do not lead to a relationship, the false hopes, the lack of respect…
How much time do you spend on dating sites? How long to stay on a dating site? When to stop them? A few answers.
Dating Sites Shouldn’t Take All My Free Time
It may happen that I let myself be completely taken up by my dating site, that I devote all my free time to it, that my thoughts are entirely turned towards this approach.
This is not good, for two reasons: on the one hand, living an addiction to dating sites is destructive for me. Any addiction destroys the freedom and the quality of what we live outside of our addiction. And this addiction opens me to great suffering, I will lack perspective to face the lack of respect that can be encountered on dating sites (see this article ) and to face disappointments, whenever an exchange, or a first meeting, will not end as I had hoped. I risk chaining disappointments and an emotional roller coaster.
On the other hand, to get out of celibacy you have to be an attractive person, and to be an attractive person you don’t have to have a life filled only with dating sites. I build myself through my relationships with others, my friendships, the services I render, my centers of interest, my passions… A serious dating site is a very useful tool for me to meet other single people who could fit me, YourChristianDate but it doesn’t build me. If my life is only an expectation of the other, I risk scaring the other, because he wants a beautiful encounter between two stories, and not to fill someone’s void.
It is therefore necessary, for my balance as well as for my ability to leave celibacy, that I fill my life with free encounters (that is to say encounters not intended to be in a relationship) and at least one activity that makes sense to me. And that I use the dating site in a not too intense way: one hour a day maximum, and preferably not every day of the week.
Take Real Breaks
If I realize that I am living with this addiction and I cannot control my time using the dating site, or if I am emotionally exhausted because of it, it is really recommended to take a break . For this break to allow me to find a balance and start my research again in good conditions, it would have to last at least several months.
During this break, it is important not that I mope. I have to try to meet new people and devote myself to activities that really interest me. So I will continue to have opportunities for meetings, and I will continue to build myself, to make myself a richer person internally, having more things to share with my future spouse.
When to Completely Stop Dating Sites?
If for months and years I have spent disproportionate sums with my resources on dating sites. If I have symptoms of depression or other psychic distress. Link to my experience of dating sites. If I been fooled many times by fake profiles, if I start to feel hat towards all men or towards. All women because of what I have experienced on dating sites… maybe it’s time to stop them altogether.
The purpose of a serious dating site is to give me additional opportunities to meet singles. Who could match me. The goal is not to destroy me and give me disgust towards women or men… Serious dating sites help a lot of single people to get out of celibacy. But they are not the only ways to make good encounters. If this method hurts me instead of contributing to my happiness. It is better to stop dating sites completely.
Ways to Improve my Experience of Dating Sites
If I think it’s not time to stop everything yet, maybe I can also improve my experience with dating sites.
First, absolutely avoid free dating sites. On these I can hardly have a good experience because malicious people and unserious people can also register for free… And the managers of the site, not being paid by the members, do nothing to fight against that. See Choosing a free or paid dating site?
To find the best serious generalist dating site, see our comparison of the most serious dating sites.
If I have trouble recognizing fake profiles and scammers, here are some tips: How to spot a fake profile . The most important point is that you should NEVER agree to send money to someone you have never met.
RELATED ARTICLE: How to Meet Someone After 50?
If I don’t receive a response to my messages. Some ideas to change things here: Why does no one reply to my messages?
The singles with whom I exchange tend to avoid the real meeting, see: He/she constantly postpones the real meeting .
If I have a bad first date experience with singles I’ve met. Here are some articles to help me prepare for that first date: The First Date .
I can also get help from a singles coach or a marriage counselor .