Jealousy: When It Becomes Sick and Destructive 2022

Jealousy: that uncomfortable feeling, motivated by insecurity. It is born from an almost inexplicable fear of losing the attention and interest of the loved one. Who has never felt jealous, cast the first stone!

Here we are talking about jealousy in romantic relationships. However, it can also manifest itself among siblings, friends and co-workers, for example.

However, it is said that feeling jealous is something natural, and even a legacy left by our ancestors.

Primitive man was jealous of his partner. He feared the possibility that his children were not legitimate and so he protected his lineage. The primitive woman, on the other hand, was jealous of her partner for fear that she and her offspring would be abandoned. She feared that she would not be supported by the head of the family .

If we look carefully, there is a great deal of truth in this correlation. Being jealous of some situations is quite common to almost everyone. Some even say that they like it when their partner demonstrates this. That’s because the complete absence of jealousy can give the idea of ​​indifference.

In fact, there is a healthy portion of jealousy, which refers to care, affection and the desire to preserve the relationship. But it is necessary to be attentive so that this feeling is not dominant. So that he doesn’t end up damaging the relationship, to the point of causing a breakup.

Next, let’s understand a little more about jealousy and why it can be a threat to happiness and the future of relationships .

Understanding Jealousy

In the dictionary we find the following definition of jealousy:

  1. complex emotional state that involves a painful feeling provoked towards a person whose exclusive love is intended; fear that the loved one will dedicate his affection to others; zelo (more use in pl.).
  2. fear of missing something.

Therefore, we can see, without much effort, that this feeling is related to the desire for exclusivity. That is, it is the situations that pose a threat to this exclusivity that most arouse DilMil jealousy between a couple .

A lot of people confuse jealousy with envy , but these are different feelings. Envy starts from the principle of wanting to be like the other or to have what the other has. And yes, this “wanting to have” can refer to the attention and affection of a third party. Envy, however, is usually a one-sided relationship, of desire for material things or the social status of another person.

Jealousy: When It Becomes Sick and DestructiveJealousy and the Third Element

However, jealousy always has a pivot, a third “threatening” element. The older son may feel jealous of the mother because he thinks she pays more attention to the younger son; the girl may feel jealous of her best friend when she pays attention to another friend. And the boyfriend tends to feel jealous when the girlfriend attracts the attention of other men by her beauty or behavior .

Note that the possibility of being passed over, deceived and, above all, betrayed makes any human being, no matter how secure and self -confident , jealous in the face of a potential context of rejection.

However, insecure people are more likely to be jealous. The reasons can be the most banal and unfounded. In this case, there is a fine line separating reality from fantasy.

To avoid crises and even distrust of the partner, it is necessary to understand jealousy from some emotions and situations that tend to trigger it. Let’s see:

Past Ghosts

It is not uncommon for jealousy to become part of a person’s life from a traumatic experience in relationships, whether current or previous. When going through a betrayal , for example, the person who previously did not consider himself jealous starts to feel suspicious, afraid of going through all that again.

If you are in a new relationship , you may find that the current partner tends to do the same as the previous one who cheated on you. Or even, if you have given a second chance to those who “took the ball”, you become much more cautious from then on, and let a jealousy emerge that did not exist before.

Self Esteem Down There

An individual with low self- esteem may not feel worthy of the love and attention of others. And because he has a distorted image of himself, believing that he is not good enough in certain ways, he can end up becoming very jealous when entering a relationship.

Thus, the lack of self-esteem will make you fear rejection constantly. In these cases, jealousy is a feeling that will be present in life together, preventing the person from fully living their relationships.

Possessiveness: Warning Sign for Unhealthy Jealousy

Worse than jealousy itself is the lack of control over it. The extremes of possessiveness and the attempt to control the other are alerts to a type of pathological jealousy, which can border on out of control and have serious consequences.

Not everyone who is jealous is possessive , but everyone who is possessive is jealous. That’s because there’s a kind of abandonment anxiety involved that makes a person more vulnerable. By feeling powerless, the need arises to control the other and stay as close as possible, which gives the partner the feeling of being suffocated.

In this way, trying to exert control over the other comes from uncertainty – which is something intolerable for the jealous. With this, he creates situations, observes details and becomes questioner about every step the other person takes, demonstrating his possessiveness.

If you go to the extreme of rummaging through your partner’s belongings or even wanting to forbid him to go out alone and keep your friendships , it’s important to be aware of the warning of an advanced stage of jealousy, which can be considered unhealthy and deeply harmful.

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Othello Syndrome

Unhealthy jealousy has already gained the status of a syndrome, and has been named “Othello Syndrome”, referring to the Shakespearean character who kills his own wife because of his unhealthy obsession and jealousy.

In fact, possessiveness can have disastrous consequences. From the attempt to control the steps of the loved one with constant questions about. Their routine, through the invasion of social networks , cell phone and email to more aggressive reactions , pathological jealousy can even cost a person’s life.

However, not all cases reach the tragic point of taking. The life of the partner out of jealousy. However, in many abusive relationships , psychological damage can occur. That will leave deep marks on each one. The pressure caused by distrust and the loss of individuality. That unhealthy jealousy causes can lead a person to develop depression and severe anxiety disorders.

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